I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
this is an emotional support booty call
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
She's better-looking with the mask on.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
