You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
