I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
the room spins SO much faster in panama
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
