I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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