A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
