And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Bring me that man meat
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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