I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
