there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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