Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
So I just went to clothing optional bar
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize