It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize