Just cropdusted the office
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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