in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
