The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
