Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
