She announced her abortion via fbk
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize