Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
