Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
