I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
