After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
