bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
