She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
