I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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