For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
