They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
