I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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