We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
