no, he came in my armpit
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
