Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
