Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.

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(913): View more from Kansas

sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can

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(773): View more from Illinois

Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?

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(337): View more from Louisiana

It's still 8am.

(1-337): View more from Louisiana

Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.

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(310): View more from California

The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry

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