Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
