I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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