Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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