Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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