Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
