He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
