You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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