I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I have aggressive nipples.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
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You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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