your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
