I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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