Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize