Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm like, not good at living.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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