direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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