i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
