I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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