And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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