I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
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