who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
