We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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