I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
