Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
