I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize