zippers are such a cool invention
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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