the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
