I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
