take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You are a genius and a whore.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
