Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
So vagazzling was a success
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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