Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
