She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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