mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
