What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
