You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
