Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
