Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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