Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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