Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
