Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I believe in your delicious
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
