We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
